discovering seasons of change

I am not looking back, nor am I looking forward. I find myself living. In this moment that I am breathing, and accepting the fresh air with a warm hug I feel mostly content. There is a part of me feeling like while life is swinging swiftly -- back and forth, and back and forth -- I am still on the brink of something. I really don't know if I could explain the feeling in words, but it is there and it does not want to be ignored. I wonder constantly what this tug at my heart is. This must be the feeling you get when change occurs, great change occurs. It feels as if I've been born again. I know that sounds a little exaggerated-but honestly-I am experiencing the true meaning of the word rejuvenation. Maybe it is that I am feeling a disconnect from everything I knew in Abilene, and while that is occurring, something is connecting here. A season of change is all.

I have been keeping in the back of my mind that rejuvenation does not last forever, because this newness in Austin and all the change will suddenly become normal life. I have been eagerly praying that I will just ride the waves of each day with a positive spirit and once the crash comes, it will be far from a crash. That it will just be a leveling, a way of life that I learn to love even amidst the leveling. So far my mindset is noticeably different. It brings tears to my eyes, truthfully. I am beyond grateful for what I have in my life. Words cannot express the true happiness I feel. I pray so eagerly that this feeling will be instilled in all of those that I love, even those I do not know. I have been praying for a connection to this life while I am here. I might as well connect and live; most importantly: love as long as I am alive. Love is my main focus. I feel like as long as I am here, I might as well discover the gifts I have been given and paint strokes of happiness anywhere I go. As cliche as ever, life is truly too short.